How Can Asking Three Simple Questions Enhance Your Cultural Diversity IQ?
Contributed by: John Shin, M.D.
It can be a big challenge to provide care to someone from a different cultural, economic, or spiritual background. We may make assumptions of others worldview which are wrong and could destroy our relationships and cause hostility. How can we correct this problem in an easy, yet relevant manner?.
Dr. Cotter, an army psychiatrist, had a saying about relationships which is pertinent to this discussion. Dr. Cotter believed that there were three levels of interactions with others. The first level is that “GOLD RULES”. That is, whoever has the money or power makes the decisions. The second level is the familiar “Golden Rule”; treat others how you want to be treated. The highest level is the “Platinum Rule”; treat others how they want to treat themselves. This precious level is rarely achieved. This is the level all culturally aware persons hope to achieve.
So how does one achieve the Platinum level? Ask 3 simple questions. After listening to the other persons concerns/goals, you should ask the following 3 questions: 1) What do you want to achieve (goal)?; 2) What is needed to achieve your goal (agent/process of change)?; and 3) How would you know you reached your goal (expectancy of accomplishing the goal)?
What is the relevance of asking these 3 questions? It is important to understand the other person’s perception of his/her concerns or goals. If you can present your information of the other persons goals using their worldview, you will make an emphatic connection quickly and establish a working relationship. In addition, knowing what the other believes would be needed to achieve their goal, can help organize your intervention to align with his/her expectations, making adherence to the pursuit of common goals easier. For instance, if the other believes collaboration from both you and him/her is needed, you need to ensure the other person is an active partner in his/her pursuit of their goals. Finally, expecting the other person to see the end results of treatment will not only help focus on the goals but also instill hope the goal can be achieved. Moreover, having the other person specifically know what the end product should look like when your intervention is over, helps gives directions and makes the steps toward the end results very concrete and seem more real.
What would this look like in real life? A 35 year-old married professional Asian woman is hired to be your division supervisor. She is a highly competent at her job but she has never supervised anyone before. She tends to be polite and the appearance of calmness and effectiveness are important to her. She will supervise four men who are rowdy by nature and who like to joke around. The male team is very successful and tends to be aloof to others in your company. She is concerned about fitting in and wants to achieve an important integration in the company which the team opposes, but for which she was hired to do. She wants the help and support of her new team members in achieving this goal. She wants to meet the sales goal set up by the board of directors and to have a polite and cordial relationship with her subordinates.
Your intervention, as her supervisor, may look like the following. As you are aware, you are helping to develop a new division which the team has little experience with but which you have great expertise in. The team is willing to help but tends to be boisterous and when they approve of someone, they tend to speak their minds forcefully. The team members believe that speaking up and expressing their views strongly is a sign of respect. The team wants you to know their areas of expertise, so they can work with you as a strong team. The team would like to meet with you informally so they can know your vision, philosophy, goals, and standards as soon as possible. As your supervisor, I want to help your team achieve your team’s goals and will do what it takes for your team to accomplish your team goals. Do you have any questions?
Your intervention would most likely be different if the other person was a 35 year old single Hispanic college student. Asking 3 simple questions can help guide your interventions in a culturally competent manner. So apply the “Platinum Rule” by asking 3 simple questions and you and your customers/employees will reap the rewards.
John Shin, M.D., is a child/adolescent/adult psychiatrist. Dr. Shin may be reached at (919) 933-1890.